Loving You

In my family, the ladies are endowed in body shape, especially when it comes to the upper part of the body. I mean, we're not bursting, but we're blessed: from my sister after me to the one after her to me (in that order). The last one is still young, but I can tell she'll join the train, and by the way we're all girls so, yeah. My Grandmother was well-endowed and so is my Mum. All of us (I'm talking about my sisters and I) had our bodies develop relatively early in comparison with our mates. Sure, it wasn’t always just us; there were always one or two girls who were more conspicuous. The point is we weren't many and so we were visible.

Personally, I remember being teased by some class mates, especially when we were learning about the physical changes in the adolescent for the first time. I didn't like it and though I tried not to show it (because teens can be really mean and when they caught on that you didn't like something, that was when they resolved to do it all the more), I always got upset soon enough. Thankfully, that period doesn't last forever, as along the line the rest begin to catch up.

One of my sisters is going through that phase right now and for a while hadn't been too happy or comfortable in her body. Then one morning, not too long ago, out of the blue, she said that she was accepting her boobs and she was going to love herself. Of course, I asked why, and she said (and I quote) ‘I realized that I’m going to live with them all my life so I might as well love them.’  I can't describe to you how happy I felt for her to hear her say that! Because really, if you do not accept and love yourself, 'flaws' and all, how are you going to accept love from other people? If you can’t appreciate yourself on your own, how are you going to believe it when other people tell you that you are a beautiful soul with an amazing minds, God’s handiwork at its best?

When I was in primary school, a friend of mine used to say "there's no person without a ‘but’ -", as in no one is perfect and you can find fault with every single person if you try. For even the ones that seem perfect, trust me; you only have to look closely.
- she's a smart girl, but...
- she's really pretty, but...
- wow, that's a really broad chest he's got. I could lie there forever, but...
- he's got a nice smile, but...
- she speaks really well, but...
- he's an amazing cook, but...
- she's got plenty hair or nice nails or whatever, there'll be a 'but' somewhere.

That is the reality. There'll always be something 'wrong'.  Some we are born with, some we encounter during life’s journey. It may not be physical and sometimes it'll be so ridiculous, you wonder how someone saw it. But that is what makes us human, that we're imperfect. And it is in embracing our imperfections that we become perfect. Besides, guess what, those flaws that you think you have or that others point out to you? They're flaws in the eyes of those who see them, basically according to worldly standard. The one who made you, He made you perfect the way you are. Which is why no two people are the same. No two cases are the same. No matter how similar two situations or things are, there’ll always be something peculiar to differentiate them. We all are unique, down to our faults. As a matter of fact, sometimes those are what make us unique from other people. And what someone sees as a fault of yours is someone else’s definition of beauty.

Now, while I preach self-love, don’t go quoting me to cover your stupidity. It isn’t every single thing about you that you must love and live with because you ‘love yourself’. For example, you have body odour or halitosis or bad teeth. You speak bad English or maybe you can’t cook.  These are things you don’t need and can work on to make yourself more presentable. Do you sit down, arms and legs crossed and ‘accept’ your odour or whatever it is in the name of self-love? Did I hear you say no? Well, thank you. So I suppose you do get the point.

Love yourself, yes. Embrace your flaws, yes. But when you love you, you want you to be better not just for you, but for the everyone around you. When you make yourself better, you’ll find it’s easier to love the better you.