To My Mummy

 A Pre-burial Tribute

A week from today, you'd have finally been laid to rest. It's been nearly two months, and as I witness a funeral, I can't help but imagine yours. I'm realising how annoying funerals can be... While some mourn, it's a social gathering for others. Any

When I think of you, I remember support... you were at my first fashion show, ever at Legon. Even though it was a student thing, you understood how important it was for me and you came, even before the show started and you waited to see me walk the runway.

And when I went out and didn't come back early, you wouldn't stop calling me! I found it annoying🤦 but you said you couldn't sleep if I wasn't home.. except for that one time you locked me out 😂 June 3rd 2015 I did not spend the night at home. I won't recount the reaction when you eventually saw me, suffice to say that, you were a mother.
As the first child, I like to think that my childhood was the best, and you always told me that, because I had no sibling to share you with, I had you to myself.
You'd tell me stories of how I was as a baby, a crier who didn't like to eat. And when I complained that my sisters talked too much, you'd laugh and say, "Do you know how you could talk?! You asked a lot of questions and we'd hold conversations like I was talking to an adult."

You read to me as a child and taught me to read. I remember how you'd encourage me by letting me read scripture during morning devotions, something you carried on with my sisters after me. You bought books, lots of books, for me and my sisters after me. It's no surprise we all love to read. My English teacher, you've edited countless essays for me. My walking dictionary until I was old enough to play the same role for my sisters.
I wrote my first poem, I wish I were an Angel when I was 6. I remember the excitement with which you praised me for it when I showed it you, both you and Dad. And I remember how proud I was. Perhaps that's what encouraged me to write. And as I grew up, you were my go to person for ideas to write on when I had none. So much so that even when I hadn't asked, you'd suggest ideas for future write-ups.

When I wanted to enter a beauty pageant in secondary school, you supported me.
And when I started reading news on TV, you bought me a full piece African print so sew so I could look good on TV( it's still unsewn).
But you were stern. Criticising my cooking, my cleaning, my dressing, my manners and everything in between. You never made me forget that there's always room for improvement, so that no one will ever get the chance to say that "your mother (that would be you) didn't teach you well".
I didn't like the way you'd call me everytime something was wrong at home and how you wouldn't stop drumming into my head that I was the eldest child.  Well, I guess you knew best why. Oh, the 'growing goes with responsibility' lecture, you graciously bestowed on us all. 

I can't count how many times you called me from bed to pray and listen to the word, and how I nearly always dozed off. Devotions were constant, and you never wanted to us to miss church service unless we couldn't help it. And when you prayed, you always prayed for us. My love for singing and the choir, I got from you.
My personal doctor. You learnt well from Daddy, and knew what drug would work on a lot of the ailments we complained of. The way you cared for me when I was unwell, even if was a headache or cramps, I wish I got sick a lot more often.
You were so strong, even in sickness. You had such faith that sometimes surprised me. I saw you cry and still have faith. I hope to have that. You were always so positive, even when things were evidently not going well. 

You were so thoughtful. Often in our talks, you'd mention your thoughts concerning others.You came from a large family, and in your formative years you lived with several people. I guess that's what made it easy fo you to accept and live with others like they were your own. Your siblings adored you, and you in turn always had them at heart. And for Nanaa, your grandmother and my great-granny, whom you have left behind, how special she was to you and you, her. My sweet grandmother, you called her.
You were always grateful and encouraged us to also be appreciative of the efforts of others.
I thought that sometimes you dragged an issue too much, and it's made me careful not to do that a lot with my sisters. One thing I didn't like was how you couldn't keep secrets from Daddy. You were always "reporting" me to him. But there were times that you surprised me and didn't. There were times you stood up for me or my sisters against Daddy and won, and how I appreciate that.
You didn't like wastage, especially when it came to food. You always complained when food had to go waste when others elsewhere couldn't get. And when it came to our needs, they were never far from your mind. If you didn't currently have the means, you put in your plans for later.
I could go on and on and on... There's so much I can say about you and not run out. I wish I told how much I love and appreciated you a lot more often than I did.

I miss you; it's nothing new. I guess I always will. I know that I didn't always make you happy, but sure hope that I make you proud. And though the memories can't all be good, there are much more of the good than the other, and therefore it is to them that I will cling.
You were the best mother one could ever have, my friend, my counselor. I know for a fact that Daddy never regretted marrying you, and everyone who speaks of you does so with so much affection. You were uniquely you, a perfectly flawed, beautiful, beautiful soul. There is no doubt that the seeds you've dropped either consciously or otherwise in the minds and hearts of all those you were blessed to know you will sprout in your memory, no matter where. 

I didn't expect that you would go this early; we all didn't. When I see people much older than you who are alive and healthy, I ask myself why. Then I see people younger than you that have also passed on and then I thank God and say to myself, 'it could have been so much worse'. 

I know that God knows best, that He knows the bigger picture, that His thoughts are higher than ours and that His thoughts for His children are always good. That's how I know that right now, you are in a better place, joyful and free from the sufferings of the world and it does make me feel better.You have fought the good fight, and now you've gone to be with your maker.
The earth has lost an angel but Heaven has gained one. I can't say rest in peace because it's sounds so final, and I can't take that.

So, until I see your smile again, Mummy, keep shining.
With all my love💕