Ghanaian Mannerisms

As much as there are enough reasons for us not to be too happy about our nation, there are ‘lovables’ as well. First of all let me say that we do not even need a reason to love our country; the mere fact that we are born Ghanaians should make us proud. Don’t we feel proud when we hear about Ghanaians doing great things both at home and abroad? When we see people carry our flag or wear our colors in other countries, it makes us glad that some of us out there are being true to our homeland. When we see our African prints, especially the Ashantis’ kente and the Northerner’s smock being worn by outsiders, we are proud to say that it is from our country.
Similarly, there are some actions of ours that i think are so uniquely Ghanaian that they never cease to remind me that I’m in Ghana. Most people are of the perception that Ghanaians are hospitable. It is therefore no surprise if while sitting next to someone in a bus, the person invites you to whatever he or she is eating with a welcoming smile. In fact, it has become second nature to us such that when one forgets to do so, the ‘sitter by’ could even ask, “won’t you invite me?” to bring a fake shameful smile to the face of the eater. Most often, people kindly reject it with a simple ‘thank you’ or a ‘please go ahead’ and a smile. The irony of the whole thing is that most times when people invite someone to a meal they are eating, they do so only out of courtesy and pray that the person kindly declines.
Once, I had just come back from an errand to meet my roomie eating. Maybe she didn’t know how hungry I was or she would have thought twice about throwing an invite. But she did and gratefully thanking her, I dug into the fried yam that I could tell she had bought from our favorite joint. It was after I had consumed the second finger that I realized she had stopped eating and was staring at me in surprise. ‘But you… what’s that?’ she asked. That was when it dawned on me; she had not really expect me to eat the food with her, she did not mean her invite. Up till now, the memory always drives me to laughter.  That is not to say that I’m any different, only that maybe I am better at hiding my displeasure than others. I am very careful now when someone invites me to eat. I make sure that they understand if I really want to eat so that they can stop me before I dig in if they do not mean it.
So quite recently I avoided this same mistake. Famished upon my return from town on sunny day, I could by no means spare even the end of a single one of the fried yam I happened to buy on my way back. Now while eating, a friend chanced upon me. I smiled and said to her: ‘I would have invited you, dear, but it wouldn’t be from my heart.’ She couldn't stop laughing. I'd like to think she appreciated my honesty.
And don’t you just love the way Ghanaians describe things! Maybe it’s because we didn’t originate education but we do try. Welcome to Ghana, where every detergent is Omo, every bar soap is Key Soap and now every noodle is Indomie. Most stores have names but are renamed according to the color of the shop, or what is sold in it (except for the well-known brands), or who owns the shop, or what is close to the shop.
Never believe a Ghanaian illiterate; no one is a complete illiterate as even those who claim have never sat in class room know some English, which they make use of when they speak in their local dialect. The very fact that they use mobile phones attest to this. Or else how come they can call out and recognize numbers as well as the names stored on their phones? And as for the clause ‘I love you’ phrase, it’s a must know.
Every lady is Ohemaa or Aho)fe or Odo or sister girl. What about the guys? Well, they mostly do the calling but ‘bra’ (bro) is just fine, or what do you think?  I personally call out ‘brother boy’ to draw the attention of guys whose names I do not know, especially when excuse me doesn’t work.
And the way we give directions, hmmm. Maybe our layouts add to the problem. Most of us might not find it funny when we are going somewhere and we have to ask about four or five people for directions to just one place, simply because the one before the last didn’t do a good job of it. But looking back, I’m sure some us can laugh at the experience.
  Now, I don't know for a fact if these are Ghanaian only, but I do know that they the kind of things that make me aware that I am home. As if I could forget.