Where's the Line (2)

Hello there!
We are still trying to determine where the line is between rape and sex, where something that should be beautiful turns ugly. We created a scenario for the guys where we saw a girl in compromising situation with you, her boyfriend. You had been kissing and caressing and she wanted to stop but you wanted more. So you try to get what you want and next thing you hear is her scream.

Next thing you hear is her scream and it’s from deep inside her, soul wrenching and piercing and it makes you stop. But not for long. You begin to move slowly, thinking the best is yet to come and she’s gonna love this by time you’re done and hell, even thank you for not listening to her. 

Let’s say after that scream she just lies there, not fighting you anymore. And tears run down the ends of her eyes a while after that. But you, you’re too busy gratifying yourself to notice. And slowly the silent tears become audible. By that time you’re done with…whatever. Soon she’s shaking violently with sobs. Now you are confused; why is she crying now that it is over? Is it from ecstasy?

Now what I’m asking is if you should look back on this would you say that you raped her? Because she stopped fighting along the line, she allowed you do your thing. And now that you think back she was a little wet along the line. She must have enjoyed some part of it. But is it rape? I know you won't tell me if you thought so..

I don’t know how many times this has happened and in how many relationships it has happened. But I do know that if I should ask any girl they would call this rape. Okay, I’m exaggerating; some girls would disagree. I hear some like a little… domination, if I should call it that. Some might even say she brought this on herself which may be true depending on how you choose to look at it.

Section 98 of the Criminal Offences Act defines rape thus; “rape is the carnal knowledge of a female of not less that sixteen years without her consent.” Thus, to prove rape, the accused person must have had carnal knowledge, which is sexual intercourse (penetration), of a female and there must have been a lack of consent on the part of the female ( THE TREATMENT OF CONSENT IN SEXUAL ASSAULT LAW IN GHANA Prof. Elizabeth Archampong, John Burke Baidoo, www.theequalityeffect.org August, 2011).  

Oh yeah, I reference too. Don’t wanna get charged with plagiarism. Anyway, the Oxford dictionary defines consent as “agree to something or give your permission for something”. Would we say that is what happened? Because we say that silence means consent.

On the other hand, the treatment of consent in sexual offence cases reflects a position that a woman saying No to sex is not enough. She must show the strong resistance she put up to confirm her lack of consent. Did she scream, did neighbours or any passersby hear her screams? Did she scratch the accused? Etc. Thus, some ways of a woman expressing her lack of consent to sex seems to be preferred by the courts; loud and strong resistance is preferable to a “quiet No”.

Different people would interpret the law differently, as much as it may look pretty simple to you. I think God created sex to be a beautiful thing. And yes, it bonds and all of that but inside marriage. But if you’re gonna do it, it should be mutual, whichever way you want it. Despite our different beliefs, I believe we share a conscience and the ability to separate right from wrong.

It is true that when you do something over and over, it becomes routine and normal such that even if it is wrong it doesn’t look that way anymore. But I think the golden rule should stand in whatever we do; that we do unto others… if you wouldn’t like it done to you or your sister or brother, son or daughter or your friend then you should know the next person aint gonna love it as well. But the question still remains, where is the line?

You tell me.