Attraction: Is it Enough?

Blogtober post  5:

What is the first thing you notice about a person when you first meet them? What is the first thing that attracts you to a person? Their body stature? Their height? The guys, boobs or booty? My ladies, six pack anaa? For me, the basic thing that I look out for that attracts me to a person even before I get to really know them is their eloquence. I mean, if they’re easy on the eyes, that’s a plus too. But for me, the brofo is very necessary for any further engagement. Please I'm just kidding.

Source: ca.askmen.com

Attraction is a quality that sparks an interest/desire in, or gravitation towards a person or a thing(Wikipedia came through again). Attraction can be platonic, physical or sensual, emotional, sexual or romantic, even intellectually. You can be attracted to a person in combination of ways. And they don't always go hand in hand. For example, you can be attracted to a person so they can be your friend(platonic). You can be attracted to a person emotionally, but not sexually and vice versa. 

How pertinent,though is attraction in a potential relationship? Because you know, in the era of arranged marriages (I know it still goes on in some parts of the world), attraction was irrelevant. In fact, in some cases, the couple did not even see each other until the wedding. But a lot of marriages worked out pretty well. Today, in this age of ‘enlightenment’ we meet people, get to know them and choose for ourselves whether we want them or not, usually on an initial foundation of physical attraction; and yet the divorce numbers keep shooting up. What are we missing?

I'm no expert, but  it does draw my attention to the reality that physical attraction is not enough to begin, much less sustain a relationship. People get attracted to an array of things. I mentioned a few already, I’ll add a few more; complexion, wealth, career, social status, and others like character, ambition, intellect and talent.

I think attraction is important, but it can be fatal. Like lust, it blinds us to other things that we would otherwise have noticed. You know, when you’re thinking with parts of your body other than the one meant for that specific function. Sometimes we forget that there’s more to a person than what catches the eye. And an attraction does not guarantee that you’re going to like or accept all the other parts of a person.

So when you realize that the person is not ‘all that’ and there are other things that you find desirable-especially when someone else enters the picture bearing those traits!- then now, you want to leave.

Source: horoscopes.lovetoknow.com

Because you did not consider that there’d be the need for compromise and quickly, you want the new package, which is also very beautiful on the outside. But do you know what you’ll find within? For all you know, the grass is greener where you are.

See, we all know that not everyone we want will want us back. We need to accept that. And an unrequited attraction is headed for doom. If you’ve been in such a situation before, you know what it’s like.

Condition your mind that yes, you are going to meet others who might be better (in some areas) but you know why you chose that person. That’s why it’s necessary that you know what you want, what you can live with and what you can’t.

What am I even saying? Slow down. Hold your horses. Physical attraction is good, but on its own, it doesn’t guarantee anything. Know what you really want. Take time to unwrap the package, get familiar with what is in the box and be sure it’s something you can live with. Before you make a committment to a person, make sure it's for more than just what you see. Because you won’t find all you want in one person; this isn’t Barbie-land. At some point you’d have to give up something in exchange for another thing. You get to decide what and who deserves that sacrifice.

Source:pixabay.com

Like a gift in a package, we are more than our covering. We are light and darkness. We are beautiful and ugly. We are perfect and scarred. And all of the shades in between. We grieve, we laugh, we learn, we heal, we love; we feel. Just as we're not beautiful alllll the time, we can’t expect to see beauty all the time(the packaging) from others, but never the other parts of a person, which are also beautiful, but just not in the way that we would want it to be.

See, you can YOLO all you want to, but when the tables are turned, just make sure you keep that same energy.